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Balancing the Many Demands of Life
Feeling Overwhelmed? Join the Club
The blurred boundaries of work and life, fueled by a competitive environment. The squeeze of the “sandwich generation,” where parents and even grandparents, in my case, present competing priorities.
Then there’s the personal challenge of maintaining our own health as we age. Not to mention COVID-19, social unrest, and, of course, no visit to the Linc this fall to cheer on our Eagles.
Today, the risk of succumbing to life’s complexities is a real and current concern. The antidote? Simplicity.
Last week, I was put to the test with my own wave of personal challenges, straight from the baby boomer playbook. At work, I was immersed in a full range of COVID-related projects. At home, my wife and I were in full preparation for a weekend getaway on the coast with our kids and grandchild.
Of course, there were the necessary second-tier matters: paying the bills, deciding whether I should return to the gym or stick with my new exercise routine, and getting back to the landscaper about the improvements we’ve been considering for months. Normal things we all manage, but then I was hit.
My 90-year-old mother had a fall. Nothing tragic, but a minor fracture that currently has her hospitalized and then headed for rehabilitation. We are blessed. Mom, with the help of a home health aide each day, is able to live on her own. She’s as stubborn as they come and fiercely values her independence.
She was actually completing her own self-developed exercise routine, walking the hallways of her main building when her walker caught the base of a pillar and sent her tumbling. Is she at a crossroads? It’s too early to say, but certainly, my experience is a case study in the complexities of life that we all face.
The problem is real. Modern life has many of us feeling overwhelmed because the complexity of our world surpasses our mental complexity, according to Harvard University professors Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. The cognitive impact can range from mental slowness, forgetfulness, and confusion to difficulty concentrating. Scholars point out that this has nothing to do with how intelligent we are but with how we make sense of the world and operate within it.
Harvard Medical School says that chronic stress – whether due to a daily commute, an unhappy marriage, or a heavy workload – can have real physical effects on the body. It has been linked to a wide range of health problems, including mood, sleep, and appetite issues, and yes, even heart disease.
Finally, a point that documents the prevalence of such feelings, the Cleveland Clinic reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States. Each year, they affect 40 million adults aged 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population. And while anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only 36.9% of people suffering from them seek help.
Combating Complexity with Simplicity
In football, a quarterback’s proficiency is often expressed by their ability to mentally slow down the game. As their skill in reading defenses and the flow of the game increases, so does their accuracy and ultimately, their success.
The same can be said, it seems, for what experts prescribe as the antidote to feeling overwhelmed by our complex world. Simplify things. In essence, slow down mentally, think about what truly matters, and create the perspective that gives you the ability to make clear and confident decisions.
Among a long list of advice offered by experts, here are three from New York University that I regularly use to keep myself balanced and on track with my healthy lifestyle. Like many behavior-oriented tips, they don’t break new ground, but serve as important reminders of habits that can sustain our well-being during times of stress.
1. Use a To-Do List
If there’s a common thread in my life, it’s my concern with lists. I use the “Notes” feature on my iPhone to build a weekly electronic to-do list with daily sections. The tool allows me to email the list to myself and print a hard copy when I need to add some handwritten notes. The iPhone lets me capture thoughts quickly before they vanish. According to NYU, whether you use a daily list or have an ongoing tab, the key is to find a method that works best for you.
2. Prioritize
This is the strategic part of task management. We all love the feeling of checking the hypothetical box when we complete a task, but the challenge is to check the important boxes first, those that have the most impact on our lives. To get a sense of accomplishment, it may be tempting to clear out a bunch of low-priority tasks. However, this is the classic false sense of achievement. NYU recommends the 80-20 rule – 80% of the reward comes from 20% of the effort. The trick to prioritizing is to isolate and identify those valuable 20%. Once identified, prioritize your time to focus your effort on the high-reward items. Prioritize by color, number, or letter – whatever method makes the most sense to you. Marking items with a deadline is another idea to help you keep your priorities.
3. Be Flexible
I fully agree with NYU’s advice to allow for interruptions and distractions. They suggest planning for only 50% or less of each day’s time. With only 50% of your time planned, you have the flexibility to deal with interruptions and the unplanned “emergency.” When you expect to be interrupted, schedule routine tasks. Save (or make) larger blocks of time for your priorities.
The literature is filled with other examples that can simplify your life and slow the pace to a reasonable degree. Learning to delegate, saying no, and practicing prudence are just a few other examples. The key is to recognize that there are ways to combat the scourge of feeling overwhelmed and sustain your well-being during tough times. When you do, simplicity and its benefits will emerge.
